Why you Need to Know your Why!

We’re getting to the bottom of why knowing your WHY is invaluable to your success not only in business but also in general life.

In this episode...

The driving factor behind a person’s motivations and how this translates to one person’s success and another person’s failure.

How your values tie into your motivations and goals; and look at the importance of getting really clear on your own values instead of other people’s expectations of you.

We also take a peek into the neuroscience around gaining potential client’s buy-in and support in your business when you start with Why!

So let's dive in!

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Transcript

Amanda: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to episode two of the Heart Driven Hustle podcast. We’re your hosts, Amanda and Kingsley. And in this episode, we’re getting to the bottom of why knowing your why is invaluable to your success. Not only in business, but also in general life. Here’s a hint. The end game is fulfillment in what you do.   So let’s dive in.

Kingsley: [00:01:06] Hey, everybody. And here we are again, in the Heart Driven Hustle headquarters, AKA the spare room of our house, recording our next episode. So thanks for joining in today, guys.

Amanda: [00:01:18] Yeah, it’s pretty cool to be sitting back here again. The dog is hiding under the bed once more so I’m sure you’ll probably hear some jingle jangles coming from her. So let’s jump right into the episode. Now, this is really all about getting to know why your, why – that’s a tongue twister isn’t it – try saying that several times over… why your why is vital to your success.

Now, this is essentially the reason why some people will succeed and others fail, but it’s about having that core knowing or that sense of direction that is going to propel you forward and give you momentum in whatever you’re trying to achieve.

It’s also about being able to create aligned goals and this is a big part of, when we’re talking about success, it is about creating goals that are congruent with your end outcome in mind.

So one of the things that we tend to find quite often in our own coaching practice is that people know what they should do, but they don’t necessarily do it.

Kingsley: [00:02:15] Yeah. So a great example of that is if someone comes to us and they say that they want to lose weight, but then we question them – so why do you want to lose weight?

And then, then we discover a little bit more. They want a bit more energy in life. And then we say, well, why do you want that more energy?

And then you discover that, Oh, they want to run around with their kids because they, they can’t keep up with their kids at the moment. So they want a greater connection with them and be able to spend time with them, on the soccer field or, or doing  what brings them joy and then we have that aha moment with them where this is your why. You want to spend quality time with your kids, doing what you love and spending family time together, and to be able to achieve that you need to lose weight and that’s, what’s going to propel the client further.

Amanda: [00:03:08] And by knowing their, why it allows you to have those heart to heart conversations with them when maybe they’re not actually taking those small steps to get them in that direction. It’s like, okay, well, how much have you moved your body this week? How has your eating been?  What are you doing to work towards that end goal?

When they say their goal is simply to lose weight, well, that’s great. You know what you should be doing, but you’re not doing it. And we need to understand why. So, as Kinsey’s mentioned there, it’s really about getting to the core reason behind doing it, because then you can remind them, you can say, okay, well, If maybe you haven’t achieved those goals this week, that’s fine. But how would it make you feel if you can’t keep up with your kids, as they’re running around the soccer field. What would it look like to you?

If you don’t achieve that goal, then you can start really to dig a little bit deeper and that then makes them pause and think and go, okay, well, there is actually much more to it. It’s not just about losing the weight. There is actually greater meaning and emphasis behind it.

Kingsley: [00:04:07] So I think it’s really important that  when  you look at the positive side, so what, what’s this gonna achieve? What’s this gonna look like once you do lose the weight or you’ll be able to,  have connection with your kids, but it’s also important to,  you know, if you’re not achieving your goals or your values, you can say, so what’s this looking like now where’s the gap. So you can say, I wasn’t able to run around with my kids this week. I wasn’t able to keep up with them and you can extrapolate that because  now you know the clear path of  what it looks like when you will achieve your goals and in line with your values and what it’s going to look like when you don’t.

Amanda: [00:04:42] Yeah. You can really start to highlight that pain point. So it’s about both highlighting the, the positives, what it will look like and how it will feel if you don’t actually achieve that.

And who are you going to be letting down? It’s not just yourself. It might be the kids… 

Kingsley: [00:04:55] and those feelings are very tangible as well. Like it’s someone’s life  and it’s what they want from it. So they, they can smell it. They can taste it when they close their eyes, they can see what it’s like when, what life is like when they achieve their goals and they can also see when there’s room to improve or when they’re not going to achieve it – what that looks like on both sides of the fence.

Amanda: [00:05:17] Yeah. They’re the ones that are in the driving seat. It’s not about us saying you must do this. You must do that because they’re not going to listen at the end of the day.

I’m not their mother, I’m a mother to my own kid, but I’m not their mother  so they need to be the one that actually takes control and does it themselves.

Kingsley: [00:05:33] So that’s when they start propelling themselves forward using their own future selves, as the driving force

Amanda: [00:05:42] A hundred percent. So if we look at that now in a business context, so if we’re talking about starting up our own businesses, that whole idea of understanding our why really is our driving factor or our motivation.

So it’s what gets us out of bed in the morning and gets us going to work. It’s the thing that helps us get through any roadblocks or challenges or any adversity that we come across along the way. Because at the end of the day, I mean, we all know that business is not easy.  Everyone’s going to have their ups and downs and if you don’t have something  that you’re holding dear to yourself, and that is keeping you moving forward, it’s so easy just to throw in the towel and say, that’s it.

You know what? This isn’t for me, I’m going to try something else. And that’s the last thing that you want to happen, especially when it’s your own business. And it’s something that you’ve put your heart and your soul into, and potentially you’ve invested a bit in it too. But by having that, it’s going to keep you going.

Kingsley: [00:06:41] It’s that great examples of, the driving motivators behind a business from a business perspective would be, you know, I want to create a digital nomad lifestyle. I want to be able to work where in the world I want. When I want. I want to be able to take  two weeks off if I feel like , on demand work, if you like.

so that may be a big driving factor for, for some person. And then on the other hand, you might have someone that values,  their status. So they want the shiny car, the big house, a big pool in the backyard for their kids and  swapping those two around, like,  one doesn’t fit into the other.

So the person that’s values the digital nomad life, doing what they want, exploring the world, going on big adventures…  you give them a shiny porche and a two story house in suburban Perth.  They’re going to hate that. Same with the person that loves the shiny car and the two story house that you all of a sudden plonk them in Thailand with a laptop and they’re gonna freak out and think, Whoa, there’s almost nothing worse than this.  One person’s perfect life is not the same as another person’s perfect life and that’s where, knowing your values and your why so important.

Amanda: [00:07:59] Yeah. I mean the, the two examples that you go there, they’re almost a completely opposing set of values.

You’ve got the, the person who values their freedom and flexibility, they love travel, they love adventure, they want to get out there.  And that doesn’t necessarily come with a lot of tangible assets, I suppose, if you want to call it that. So they won’t necessarily have the car, they won’t have the house, they won’t have anything that holds them in one single location.

But then if you look at the flip side where you’ve got the person who had what’s the materialistic items, because that’s what they value in life. Their going to want those, but you can’t necessarily have that along with the digital nomad lifestyle, because all of a sudden, you’re not there to enjoy those things.

So it really comes down to understanding what it is that you hold near and dear. And what motivates you.

And I think one of the things that we’re really seeing in the social media age is so much comparison out there and it’s very easy to get caught up in shiny object syndrome. So I know I come across and I’m sure everyone does all of these beautiful lifestyles flashed across the Instagram where you see the gorgeous house and the family that’s perfect… I don’t know whose kids are looking absolutely immaculate. I don’t know my daughter looks like she’s been running around and covered in mud and dirt and everything else, but enjoying life. But that’s reality. But you also see all of the different holidays and they beautiful looking islands and all of these different things that you could only dream of. But if we’re not true to ourselves and really stopped to think about what we hold as our values, and what’s important to us, we can very quickly turn from one thing to the next and all of a sudden start chasing someone else’s dreams.

Kingsley: [00:09:53] And, just to add to that point. so if, if there was a shiny new Lamborghini and, they were going to give it away for free, yeah I’ll take one.

If there was a free holiday over the Thailand, then another one to South America, and I could do everything without having to pay for it, then yep. Sign me up for all that, because I love all that stuff. But if I had to work hard for two, three years to be able to start enjoying those things; save up for two years or work hard for two years to then be able to do digital nomad for a year and a half or two years.

That’s when you’re going to be saying no, I’d rather have the Lamborghini for a hundred thousand dollars or no, I’d rather go on this huge adventure of a lifetime for three or four years. And that’s what we mean. We don’t mean that one thing is necessarily better than the other, but it’s when you have to trade hard work for these things, it’s when you start discovering what your values really are.

Amanda: [00:10:51] So true, it really starts to flesh out what is the most important  thing to you.

And I think that’s a really good point that you’ve made there Kingsley. It’s about understanding whether the values or the reason why is actually your own.  And we actually want to explore a few questions just to help you really understand whether it is yours or whether you have actually adopted someone else’s reason why or their goals or values.

And before I do that, I do just very quickly want to touch on the reason that we’re using those terms interchangeably is that they are related. They don’t sort of sit in isolation. Essentially, your values are what you  have at your core.  They are your internal guiding compass and they will then actually then lead into your why. So your reason for doing something and then your, why will filter into your goals. So they are all connected and I just wanted to clarify that before we moved forward.

But if I jumped back to the questions, so there’s a few high mileage questions that I’d love to dig a little deeper with yourself and just explore what’s going on for you and really get to, are you living in your own truth essentially?

If you take a look at your current situation and where you are compared to where you might like to be, how does this fit into your goal?

Kingsley: [00:12:07] And also how do you expect to feel once you reach that goal?

Amanda: [00:12:12] And the reason we asked that question is. If you’re going to feel elated and fulfilled and overjoyed that you’ve actually achieved that particular accomplishment, then it’s quite likely something that does align with you. It is your goal. But on the flip side, if it’s something that you’re simply just tick off and go, yep, that’s done. Then really ask yourself, is that your goal? Is that your, your why’s that where your values lie? Maybe it’s not. And is this something that you really want to do or is it simply just something you think you should do?

And that kind of comes down to society’s expectations and it’s certainly something that we are governed so strongly by is that we’re too busy thinking about what other people want of us or what we believe we should be doing rather than what’s actually deep inside our core and  what we value and hold true to ourselves.

 Ask yourself if you were to be doing this  every single day for the next 10 years, which is a very long time, if you consider it, would I still want to do it? And secondly, if money was no object, what would I do? It’s funny how money can be the driving factor behind a lot of our decisions and it doesn’t necessarily allow us to do what we love or pursue our passions.

But why?  Why is that the case? It shouldn’t be.

Kingsley: [00:13:37] Also, what are you looking to create? And what’s your definition of success?  Closing your eyes and saying, if you can see the future five years from now, 10 years from now, what does, what does that look like?

What does, what you’re doing right now equate to in five years in the future? If you can’t see that and you don’t have a crystal clear vision, Then maybe it is someone else’s value or goal that you’ve got in place.

Amanda: [00:14:05] That’s so true.  it’s not about, what success  looks like for others.

I know we’ve all got the parents who have pushed us to do different things all throughout our lives, because that’s what they want. They might have these dreams and visions of you achieving a certain qualification or achieving a certain job title or I suppose the Australian dream, which is getting their house and the big block of land, but is that what you want? It shouldn’t be about them. It’s about you. So what makes this important to you?

 And when you start to really consider those questions, maybe the path that you’re on at the moment isn’t quite where you want to be. Maybe it’s not your path. So this leads us into the next point about really understanding your values. Because as we’ve mentioned, your values are your guiding compass.

They’re your inner voice. And that’s what provides you with direction and purpose. It allows you to live in accordance to your own integrity rather than anyone else’s as well. So whenever we’re faced with decisions in life or uncertain circumstances, being really clear on your values allows you to make those decisions and be able to live with the consequences.

I want to look at core values versus values, because quite often, when you say to people, Oh, what are your values? There  is a difference between the two. So the best way to probably explain this is if you think of it like a tree. So your core values are generally the same throughout your entire life. They’re unwavering. You’re not going to have too many of them. Usually there’s around three to five of your core values and if we look at it in the tree analogy, consider those to be the roots. They are the things that will keep you grounded always. They are firm they’re in place and they’re generally not going anywhere.

If we move further up the trunk of the tree, through to the leaves, and we can look at these as being your other values. So there’s a whole heap of other different values, which you will have in your life. But things can change throughout time, so they will be wavering and they’ll be flexible and that would depend upon the circumstances as well.

Kingsley: [00:16:16] Yeah. So a great example of that would be if you have a sick friend or loved one, at that time you’ll place a higher value on health than you usually would. Health would be in there somewhere. But, in that time, in that moment, when you’re experiencing that, that’ll be in the  front of your mind and you’ll be valuing that more than usual.

Amanda: [00:16:37] A hundred percent. And then let’s just say once they heal and everything is okay, you’ll still have a value of health that it’ll slowly as the circumstance moves further and further from your mind…  that particular value may move further and further into the distance too.

 Values is something that we could talk about for such a long time, and to really understand what your values are, you need to go quite deep.

Kingsley: [00:17:00] So, what we’ve done is we’ve created a free quiz for you and we’ll pop the details in the show notes, and you can head over there. You take 15 or 20 minutes and really dive deep and gets you to ask some very reflective questions and helps you figure out your value, which is pretty cool.

Amanda: [00:17:18] It’s all about understanding what they are so you can start designing your life around them and really understanding what your happiness is, what your personal formula for success is. And it’s just a really cool thing to check out, so I highly recommend you do that.

 So I’d like to move on to a really great resource that I’ve come across in my time as well. It’s a book by Simon Sinek and it’s called Start with Why. Now, I don’t know if you’ve heard much about it, but the core principle of this is the golden circle approach. So if you consider a, a circle with three rings. In the very center, you have the Why. Around that you have the How. And then in the outer ring you have the What.

Now the way most people approach business is they tend to focus on  the What, and sometimes the How, but they don’t have the Why. The thing is though the Why is what drives people and gets their buy in. That’s the motivating factor.

So this is what leads to longterm fulfillment and success. So just like I mentioned, the end goal for everyone. So what Simon does in this book is he links the efficacy of starting with Why with neuroscience, which is such an interesting topic in itself.

Kingsley: [00:18:29] So the, What, which is the outer section of the brain and also the outer section of this golden circle approach. And that’s the neocortex, which is analytical thought. Things like facts, figures, features, benefits, real kind of crunching numbers type stuff.

Amanda: [00:18:49] We then have the Why and the How. Now these are the two innermost sections of the circle and funnily enough, they correspond to the middle section of the brain, the limbic system. Now this area of the brain is actually responsible for all our behavior and decision making. It’s also responsible for our feelings, which is why we referred to it as a gut feeling. So if you now look at the correlation between.

The Why, which is the middle section of the golden circle and the feelings that we’re having inside our limbic system of our brain, you can start to notice why we should start with our, Why.  So when we start with why this is when we begin to actually inspire others to join the cause. And if you’re in business and you’re needing clients, or you’re trying to get customers, that’s kind of what you’re trying to do.

You’re trying to get them to join your cause, buy from you. And in the end, then that’s, that’s going to lead to success.

So as we’ve mentioned, becoming really clear on your, why leads to these intentional choices and it’s not just in business or career, it’s also in life as well.

Kingsley: [00:19:53] There’s a lot of awesome resources out there about this subject, linking neuroscience with your why? So jump into a bit of research.

Amanda: [00:20:00] there you have it guys. Why knowing your why is so important. At the end of the day, you’ll have that point of reference and a really clear direction to keep you moving forward… well, in the right direction. You’ll also understand what drives your own behavior to keep you motivated and pushing through, even in those really tough days and be able to inspire others to join your mission because, well, at the end of the day, that’s what people buy into your mission. Now, most importantly, it’s about being able to make those really intentional choices in your career and generally in life as well.

So don’t forget, check out our free, Discover your own Superpower quiz, which is all about uncovering your values, that’s on our website. We’ll pop the details into the show notes, Take a 15 minute break to get deep and learn a little bit more about yourself, find your happiness and discover your own personal formula for success. So head over to heartdrivenhustle.com/2.

 Now you’re absolutely going to love the next episode. We interview our very first guest for the show author, entrepreneur, mother, and DIY queen Krissy Ballinger from The Inspired Little Pot. 

 Krissy shares with us, her insights around how she lived her profession as a teacher to pursue her passion and create her own wellness business, where she is on a mission to empower and educate around natural health and all things DIY.  Don’t miss out on that one as there is so much value in her story.

See you next time.

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