What’s Holding you Back?
Finding your Success and Happiness
What’s Holding you Back?
Finding your Success and Happiness
You’ve spent the best part of your early adult life hanging out for the weekends, socialising with friends and enjoying yourself at any cost.
But lately life has started to slow… friends are now withdrawing into their own families and the instant gratification you felt in your younger years isn’t quite cutting it anymore.
You cannot quite put your finger on it, but it’s a general feeling of something being ‘off’.
It’s as though you’re always pushing life uphill – yet somehow it appears to flow effortlessly for some others around you. You’re feeling unfulfilled in your career, but you don’t know where to turn or how to fix it.
Life just feels like one big never-ending chore!
There’s an obvious reason behind this…you’re living out of alignment with your values!
In fact, there is a direct correlation between living in accordance with values and the amount of joy you experience. It’s essentially a predictor of life happiness.
Just picture what absolutely lights you up.
I can guarantee, this will be one of your highest values!
WHAT ARE VALUES?
Values go much deeper than just your thoughts or beliefs. Your values are ingrained within you and held deep in your subconscious.
Your values are your innermost truth and your guiding compass in life. They are who you are and what you hold dear in your core. Your values are your true and authentic self – your inner voice.
They give you with a sense of direction and purpose, allowing you to live according to your own integrity; whilst providing satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Your values are your driving force and become your motivation behind the choices you make.
You’ll find when you understand your values and follow your own authentic truth, you’ll be propelled forward, and life will flourish!
When you are truly aligned and start to master your own life, a ripple effect occurs across all areas of it. You’ll be further ahead in your career; relationships with others have a deeper level of connection; and you’ll have a reason to leap out of bed in the morning!
WHY VALUES ARE IMPORTANT
Your values provide guidance and direction as you navigate your path throughout life.
Consider the scene in the Lewis Carrol novel, Alice in Wonderland, where Alice arrives at a fork in the road and asks the Cheshire cat in a tree, ‘Which road do I take?’.
The Cheshire cat asks, ‘Where do you want to go?’.
Alice answers, ‘I don’t know,’ to which the cat responds, ‘it doesn’t matter.’
When you don’t know where you’re heading in life, how can you know which path to take?
They provide the compass and guide your actions as you move along the road of life. They let you know which turn (decision) to make and which ones to leave so you remain on the right path for you.
In a world where we are faced with ever-increasing distractions, demands and mental overload; it’s so easy to fall out of touch with what is most important to you.
Without knowing your values, it’s easy to become lost and start meandering throughout life without a true purpose or meaning. When you’re unaware, you’ll frequently miss out on exciting new opportunities (or make less than desirable choices which do not serve you).
Your values should determine how you spend your time; who it is with and the relationships you hold. They should also factor into your career choices and what you do for work. Considering you spend more than half your waking hours in the workplace – it should be something that fills your heart and allows you to feel free!
You’ll feel at your happiest, most grounded and at ease when you’re living truly aligned.
Imagine just feeling in flow! Ever notice how the hours simply disappear when you are doing something you love, compared with a chore that drags on and on?
Hint – the first is aligned with your values…the latter is not!Instead, when you’re stuck on task or activity which conflicts with your values, you’ll only feel frustration and stress.
When you’re not secure in your values, it’s easy to become distracted by the next shiny thing which comes along. Without a guiding principle, decisions in life become stressful! Without a greater goal to keep your focus, life becomes a comparison game.
I’ll let you in on a little secret here…
When you play the comparison game, you’ll never believe you stack up against someone else’s highlight reel.
When you don’t know your values, you risk living according to someone else’s ideals or standards. If you’re not clear with yourself, you’ll be influenced by friends, family or colleagues.
They each have their ‘right way’ of living, which may be so ‘wrong’ for you and feel completely abrasive! Deep down, you’ll know this is the case when you don’t live up to the standards or expectations set by others along that incorrect path.
There is nothing wrong with you at all; it is simply not your set of values!
VALUES VS CORE VALUES
Every person has several values; however, there is a difference between values and core values.
Your core values are the ones which keep you grounded.
Like the roots of a tree, these form the foundation upon which every decision in your life will be based. Your core values will typically remain constant and stable throughout your life; the other set of values can change based on your circumstances.
Consider how for that tree to thrive, the branches must move and sway in a storm or adapt to the environment. Your other values will be more flexible and can vary over time or under difference circumstances. For example, where a loved one becomes sick or injured, your value around health may temporarily take on greater importance and focus because of this situation.
Being able to connect with both your core and greater values enables you to live a more aligned life.
DESIGNING YOUR LIFE AROUND YOUR VALUES
Once you’re clear on your values, you can begin designing your life in a way which embodies these and creates balance.
Considering your wealth lies in your top three values; it is vital to incorporate these into your life!
Creating life goals which are congruent with your core values means you are more likely to stick with these and achieve them.
Stepping outside your comfort zone and society’s expectations of you can be difficult. When you have been downtrodden for so long by the pressure of societal values, it can be tough to step up and own your own truth.
Know that you are a unique individual, and no one ever got ahead by following everyone else; what other see as important won’t bring you happiness, fulfillment or success.
The changes you make do not need to be overwhelming, but they should be meaningful and significant to you. Start with small steps and build up from there. Only you can determine the exact action to take to start living aligned to your values.
Embrace this discomfort, the moments of brilliance and the beauty of it all. Be empowered to act and make the necessary changes to bring about the freedom and happiness you will receive through this process and living in your own truth.
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